I don't claim to be the hippest, coolest cat on the block. I'm no slave to fashion. In fact, I actually inwardly laugh at those who are.

Now, I can understand bottled water. My parents have an industrial-sized distiller in their house, so I grew up drinking purified water. Anything else tastes funny.

I cannot, however, understand this. For those who don't care to look, it is a 5 ounce bottle of Evian Mineral Water Spray... for $8.50. (That would be $1.70 per ounce, for the mathmatically challenged.)

Wow! That must be some sort of miracle spray they are manufacturing there!

That website conveniently provides a link to the ingredients of this eau de wonder. Let's see here. Hmm... the premium ingredients are: pure Evian mineral water propelled by nitrogen.

Wait... okay, so we know that Evian is upper-class water. Here you can see the mineral richness contained within their H20. (It has a near-perfect 7.18 pH.) Despite the hydro-amazement contained therein, one can purchase a 1.5 liter bottle of this mineral water for an average of $1.50 at any upscale convenience store. (This ends up being rougly 4¢ per ounce.)

Now, I'm not sure how much nitrogen propellant is going for these days, but the whole concept of this "beauty water" seems a little ridiculous to me. But that's me in all my unfashionable glory. Here are 26 Reasons why this Evian spray is the best thing since Botox. (I'm particularly fond of number 20.... but number 25?! It's fricking water not Bengay!)

I think I'm going to go to Taco Bell now.